Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
