woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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