So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
