good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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