all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize