She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
