so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The air was thick with penises
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
