i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
