Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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