So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
