im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
