I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
