I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
