worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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