She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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