Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize