A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
