She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
