Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
