Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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