He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize