who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can you bring me the toilet please
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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