i was born a porn star she said
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
