Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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