Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
