I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
