omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
