Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
