Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
