Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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