I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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