Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
