I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
