At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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