can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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