then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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