that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's never too late to be topless.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
