I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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