being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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