I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
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Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize