do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
