I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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