Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
