If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
