Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
