Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
