If i come over, it means nothing
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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