she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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