He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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