just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's the barista slut.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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