yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
