Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
