I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
