I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
