I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
