hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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