My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize