drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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