Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
